Back with a vengence

I'm back again...

I realized that ever since I graduated, I've lost touch with the creative side of me. Not going to give any excuses for not having written anything for almost 2 years. Let me just start the ball rolling on again with an interesting observation I made yesterday.

Strangely, the people around me never ceased to be amused by my ability to give explicit details to things or events, or just, anything in general.

I was at my colleague's (Cecilia) baby shower when someone suddenly talked about the health checks which are part of our company's benefits. Someone asked if there was a need to provide stool (a.k.a crap) samples for testing. I've been to the test before, so I told them 'yes, you got to provide your shit samples'. They were 'concerned' about how their faecal matters was going to be collected, so I told them how it was done. There were 2 designated clinics where we can go to for the body checks. The one that Fiona went to, the doctors were rougher. The doctor in charge of the screening would stick their finger into the anus to 'collect' some samples for testing.

Now, for the clinic I went to, it was slightly different. At the beginning of the health screening, I was given 2 bottles, 1 for urine samples, 1 for stool samples. The urine bottle is pretty easy, just aim and pee into the bottle. Now, for the stool sample bottle, it had a spoon stuck onto the cap, apparently to aid in scooping the stool into the bottle.

Someone asked me how I collected my stool sample, so I told them I went to a squatting toilet pan, and tried to position myself such that when my first piece excrement drop down, they would drop on the side of the pan, instead of sliding down into the water part of the pan. Ta-dah! Now you can scoop that piece of crap up! I was a bit concerned about not providing enough sample for testing, so i took a big scoop, which turned out to be a bit too wide to go through the bottle opening. I rested the sample on the opening, slowly pushing the sides into the bottle, and after a while, the whole thing was in, moist and warm. Then I continued with my business.

Now, everyone who was listening in was grossed out, yet amused by the stool collecting exercise. Well, at least they learn how they should do it when they go for their health screening next time round.